Scottish food today - and what a treat I was in for - and no it's not battered pizza, chips, salt & sauce, then a battered Mars bar to follow. I mean real Scottish food, not the deep fried heart attack specials that have taken over our Northern neighbour (and traditional enemy).

The Scots don't know it but the fast food epidemic is all a ruse by us evil sassernachs to poison them so as we can invade and take over their porridge factories. Yes, it's true. All those hundreds of years of feuding were all about porridge. Salt or sugar - what a stupid waste of lives, will mankind never learn.

"Where have all the flowers gone... Long time passing..."

So it's time for peace to break out between the English and the Scots - and then we can all go back to warring with the real enemy, Australia - especially as represented by that git Mel Gibson - Braveheart my arse, what a load of unmittigated toss. And then some town in Scotland (Melrose) makes a statue of William Wallace and it looks just like Mel Gibson, we should go and pull it down and slap it with our slippers like the one of Saddam Hussein during his overthrow in Baghdad.

Anyway, I'm rambling - o'er the highlands and through the heather of my mind no doubt.

So with that final thought I shall pass you on to an excellent recipe for finnan haddie poached in milk.

Now, where'd I leave that longbow? You never know when you might need it with these Scots so close.

* The winner was Mark Pavey of Tübingen Germany who will recieve a 20p postal order. He also pointed out the the correct quote was "It's Brigadoon! it's Bloody Brigadoon!" from Four Weddings and a Funeral


Cake Blog

Strathbogie Mist: I got the recipe for this from a website. It was really quite excellent - light, fruity and very very tasty. Rampant Scotland.com I wont write the recipe below as that would just be stealing. Hit the link to see how it's done.


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