Aaahhh!

That was a scream. The noise of a man's soul being twisted on a rotating spit above the fires of hell.

Aaahhh!

A toasting fork pierces the skin just above the hip. The blood drips down into the fire and sizzles. Demons baste our poor Jon with his own sweat and force sour lemons into his mouth. The screaming ends - it's hard to scream with a citrus fruit jammed in your jaw.

Then the final injustice, the final pain.

Toni: "Somebody told me today that people are calling eating together as a family Co-feeding."

And then I was able to take no more.

Yes, Toni came back and told me a friend of hers was trying co-feeding. Or at least she was calling sitting down to dinner with her family co-feeding and that it was, apparently, a new concept in child rearing.

I think Toni was having trouble with the word as well. What a load of horse shit.

Having dinner with your family doesn't warrant a word. It's not a 'method'. It's eating dinner.

When you become a parent, you very quickly become bombarded by no end of psychobabble. Almost everybody seems to have a theory about how you should do everything and each one of these theories has some trendy name. It's a bit like going to a gym where every week a new and exciting exercise regime is introduced, but it seems exactly like the last one only with slightly different music and you have to pay for a new course. I cannot recall the names of things I have been told as there have been so many that my brain has now refused to remember them. There are so many parenting 'styles' that you can read up on, so many books teaching you how to get your kids to sleep, how to potty train them, how to teach them to read - but most of all there are millions of books, websites and help groups, all giving advice on how to get your children to eat.

It's not helpful advice, it's an industry.

But today, the one thing that surprised me the most, was that somebody is advocating sitting down with your children and eating together, as a parenting method.

Co-feeding. What a load of crap.

Isis has just woken up - I could read "KidsDreams - a journey through the landscape of childhood sleeping - parenting tips and hints by Dr. Jillian Lovely." or I could go and make sure she's ok. Guess which I'll choose?