I don't tend to follow celebrity stories. I know you are shocked by this startling revalation - you thought I spent all my time reading Hello! and Perez Hilton. In all honesty - and in the words of Tupac - "I just don't give a f..." Or as Juvenal put it: Bread and Circuses.

I was reading the Guardian today (as all left wing trendy educationalists do) and there was an article about Gwyneth Paltrow who has written a diet book for families. I have to admit I haven't read the book, only the newspaper article, so I'm not in any position to comment on the merits of the book really, but I did get the general jist from the article I read.

As far as I can tell, Ms. Paltrow is advocating a family diet which doesn't contain carbohydrates. No pasta, rice, potatoes... I'm not sure how far she goes and if she has banned the eating of fruit - which would be a little excessive - but either way her dietary advice seems to have created a bit of a stir.

Nutritionalists around the globe are being wheeled out to decry this apparent madness, claiming that such a diet will lead to low energy, brain disorders and pustular neurodermatisis.

As far as I can tell though, I can't see anything that would actually be wrong with a diet without pasta, rice or potatoes, apart from missing out on some things which are very tasty. You can get all the calories you need from other sources and the same goes for minerals/vitamins etc. What seems a little odd, is why anyone would think that of doing this. It just seems a little sad, restricting their lives in such a draconian fashion for what is likely to be very little benefit. Imagine growing up never having eaten noodles, spaghetti or chips. Such things are a part of the joys of childhood. The whole idea just sounds mean and the sort of thing only a very domineering and controlling person would consider.

I'm sure Ms. Paltrow has the best of intentions but we won't be doing this here. We won't be doing any special diet, except the one where we eat anything that runs, swims, grows in the ground or hangs from a tree or bush.

And didn't she give the hobbits some Lembas bread in Lord of the Rings? Surely that's carbohydrates? Hyporcacy gone mad.