Another one of those work days. I got home at about 6.30 and everything was in chaos. The kids were shouting, Toni was looking glum, things were scattered over the floor and there was still dinner to cook. Toni had peeled some potatoes and chopped some chips for tonight's feast - not easy given the circumstances. Time to get moving.

I started on dinner and a fight broke out. Isis was building a house out of the sofa's cushions and wouldn't let Eve in. There was a lot of screaming, some words were said, somebody got knifed - usual stuff for a Friday night in South Central LA.

Luckily we don't let Isis and Eve use live ammo in their Mac10 spray and prays, otherwise somebody might have been hurt.

While the chips were frying and with the kitchen burning down around us, I came and broke up the fight and helped build dens worthy of two such dangerous gang bangers.

I got the chips out to keep warm in the oven and got the steaks on, when a turf war broke out. The dens themselves had become infested with roaches and rats and crack dealers had moved in. Eve and Isis had set up rival cartels and now there was a shooting war going on over who controlled North Central (the rug in front of the fire).

While the steaks almost burned I did my 'Hill Street Blues' negotiation thing and managed to agree a truce. At the same time Olias had moved to New York with Toni (upstairs) and was involved in a legal dispute over boob rights which involved Ally McBeal and the entire team from LA Law to bring a resolution.

Dinner was ready.

For some reason everybody came and sat without any fighting or arguing. It started as a fairly ill tempered affair, but after a bit and all of a sudden, I noticed my cooking music playing in the background. Silence. Everybody, including Olias, was sitting quietly and chomping away.

Some magical fairy had flown in down the chimney and waved mystical dust in the air. For just a small moment, sanity was restored, all the molecules in the universe stopped vibrating and all the people of Israel and Palestine came together to play a game of football in the Negev.

Then, having realised that everything was lovely, I had to go and open my mouth and mention the lovely silence. The silence was instantly broken by Isis shouting "I'm making a noise, making a noise just to break the silence." or something along those lines and it was all over.

A moment was enough though.

Greek food tonight, or steak and chips if you want to bring me down a peg. The video - I was a bit bored at work today and this really cheered me up. Fantastic.

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