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Har du haft en god dag i dag?

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I apologise for having to continue in English but it was too slow translating this message using Google Translate.

I am writing to you on a matter of great importance concerning the relations between our two peoples.

As both friends and members of the European Union any unrighted wrongs or slights between us, should not be allowed to continue unaddressed and it is with this in mind that I implore you to consider my request.

Give us back our money you thieving bastards.

You, the Danish people, owe us for the estimated £240,500 in silver - the Danegeld - obtained from us with menace between the years 981 and 1018. This crime has, as yet, gone unpunished and the Danish people have made no attempt to make reparations or even to accept their guilt and apologise.

Assuming a very moderate rate of return of only 1% per annum (a rate very favourable to you) this would equate to approximately £4,796,031,142.05 today. Cleary, this amount of money is far too large for us to simply allow it to be written off and as such, if we cannot come to an agreed repayment schedule, we will have no option but to begin legal proceedings to recover the monies - for which you may be liable for additional costs.

I expect your reply promptly.

Yours

Jon Borresen