Sunday 13/1/2013
Back to Feeding The Five (click here)
Diary and Notes
“It was so depressing, watching all these people sitting around eating. They seemed to be enjoying the food, but don’t talk to me about food. It was even worse than I thought it was going to be. Me, brain the size of a planet, watching humans ingesting hydrocarbons, call that job satisfaction – I don’t. I tried to talk to the new toaster but it gave me a headache. The main course was the worst. And then the dessert, that was the worst too. Then the coffee and amaretti biscuits, I didn’t enjoy those at all. After that it went into a bit of a decline. The least depressing thing was the gravy – nobody liked the gravy.
Today we had the rare pleasure of being invited to dinner around a friend’s house. This doesn’t happen too often as we are probably not the best guests in the world. I’m an irritable sod who makes sarcastic comments continuously and often involuntarily, Toni has a tendency towards panic and worry and then there are my three offspring who are by any measure, not the best dinner party guests. Isis is incredibly fussy and given to bouts of “I am Ws.t* goddess of both upper and lower Egypt and you, slave, have displeased me and must suffer my terrible wrath.” – especially if confronted by anything green. Eve is slightly better, but generally refuses to talk to anyone and is also very particular about what she puts in her mouth – she does blow a good raspberry though. Olias is a much better eater, but being seven months old likes to bang spoons on the table, drops food everywhere, gets bored quickly and wants to practise his crawling, rather than sit listening to old gits wittering on about their favourite brand of coffee.
So my chum Laurie has cooked us all an excellent beef pie for Sunday dinner. His wife Rachel is off singing in a choir, so it’s just us, Laurie and his two children Edie and Riley.
As with all parents, I am convinced everyone else’s children are much better behaved then mine, and in the case of Edie and Riley this is definitely true. They sit all through dinner, politely munching everything they are given without a moan, gripe of whine. They eat carrots, cabbage, broccoli, pie... all manner of tasty things while my horrors munch a potato or two and nothing else. Woe is me and it is all my own doing.
The pie was really excellent and there was a wide choice of tasty roasted and steamed vegetables too. For dessert – Eton mess and ice cream. My lovely ones wouldn’t even risk the Eton mess and stuck to the ice cream.
I’m sure I am not the only person with children like these but sometimes it feels like I am.
I did threaten Laurie that I would write a review of his dinner in the style of food writer Jill Duplex – “...and the unctuous filling, oozed a glistening jus which delicately...” but that seemed a little mean. Instead - and to say thank you for putting up with us, I wrote a short review as if spoken by Marvin the Paranoid Android from the TV series of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I hope he liked it.
*Ws.t is the ancient Egyptian name for the goddess we normally know as Isis. Isis is the (Greek) Ptolemaic version.
***************************************
Menu
Today’s Ratings:
Isis: Potatoes - yum.
Eve: Potatoes - yum.
Olias: Loved the meat juice flavoured pastry best of all.
*****************************************************
JCBorresen@GMail.com