Visitors! Aliens from another world (Wales) have descended upon us. They look like us, talk like us, but if you watch the David Icke video (right) you'll see that things are not always as they seem. Beware. David has a serious message here and needs to be taken seriously. Aliens are everywhere, creeping into our society and moving around looking like us but really very different*.

So we have visitors, Toni's brother and his two daughters, plus his partner and her daughter. It's gone girl crazy here. Poor Olias and me were massively outnumbered - hide, run away, take refuge.

So I did what I always do when hordes turn up - cook them something to eat and try not to get in the way. It's a sound policy and has served me in good stead for many years.

So today I made a pretty standard Tex-Mex mix - only I had to cook the meat separately from everything else as one of the aliens was a vegetarian. Yes, not only are we being manipulated from above by shape shifting reptiles from outer space, but some of them don't even eat meat. Bastards.

The food was pretty good and almost nothing was left after they slurped it all up with their retractable proboscises. Satiated and full of beans they departed in their space vehicle (I think it was a Renault) back to their mother ship hovering above us (a Premier Inn near Trafford Park).

I think they are returning tomorrow to feast again. Damn this cooking skill, if the food was awful they would have buggered off to a Beefeater or something similar, now I've an army of girls again - and more vegetarian troubles to deal with.

*Isn't the internet great. You can find out everything you ever wanted to know and there's always a truth which agrees with what you already believe.